"I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it."
This quote perfectly describes the start of my second year here at Northeastern.
I got back to the city last week, moved in a week ago, and started classes on Wednesday.
Even though I was here last year, it is very strange to be in the same place I began my college adventures, but to be starting something completely new. It is strange to walk through campus with a new view.
I now live on the other side of campus, so things feel new and different. I live in a single room with a bathroom I share with my suite mate. I live on the sixteenth floor of a 22-story building. I have incredible views of the city and a new perspective of what this year will bring.
So I can see the path I will be traveling, but I don’t know where I’m headed or what life will bring me this semester. But maybe that is what makes it so exciting to have blind faith in my future and believe in myself so that where ever that path leads, I can know it is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I’ve included some pictures of my room, which is much bigger than my shoebox of a dorm last year.
My room.
My "side tables" made from packing boxes and fabric.
For most kids my age, a summer job means making sandwiches, watching little kids play in a pool, folding clothes or taking children on field trips. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with working in food service, retail, as a camp counselor, lifeguard or nanny, I had the once-in-a-lifetime chance at a unique and rewarding summer job.
Last December when my mom told me about a job our long time family friend had for me, I didn’t know what to think.
“You will be coordinating volunteers for a project her non-profit organization puts on,” she told me. Well I thought it sounded interesting enough and I would be getting paid.
Then in March when I interviewed, I still had a vague idea of what I would be doing this summer.
So June came, and I jumped right in to an experience I would come out a different person.
I was an intern for the program called Crayons to Calculators. At first glance, it just sounds like a mouthful of a program that might have something to do with education.
What I found was far more. Sure it is a program that collects and delivers school supplies for the 30 percent of economically disadvantaged kids in the Boulder Valley and St. Vrain Valley school districts, but it was the hardest, most stressful, most rewarding job I have ever had.
For the first month I delivered a lot of posters to companies that hold a supply drive in their offices. I dressed as a crayon at farmers’ markets to raise awareness and money. I suffered several paper cuts from folding and sealing 700 letters asking previous donors for money. I worked closely with the world’s greatest boss and mentor. And I learned something new everyday.
Before I tell you what I did the last month and a half, you have to understand what we do. Crayons to Calculators main job is to fill 8,000 backpacks with school supplies for grades pre-school to 12th grade. At our location we had to sort, stuff, check and pack 4,000 of those backpacks to be delivered to the Boulder Valley school district.
So July flew by as I arranged volunteer shifts for the first week in August. There is no way my boss, the other intern and I could fill 4,000 backpacks by ourselves. We could not have done any of it without our 200 amazing volunteers.
My main job was to contact people who wanted to volunteer, sign them up and thank them when all said and done. And I am proud to say, as the Crayons to Calculators Volunteer Coordinator I successfully saw the project through and learned something new from all of my volunteers.
I learned to have patience from the Boulder Rotary Club. I learned to smile even when work is hard from the kids at American Eagle. I learned to have a good time while working from Brocade. And I learned to always be willing to take direction and help from the countless number of individual volunteers.
And I have to thank my coworkers, Cheryl, Kate and Natalie, for keeping me sane during the whole process.
I don’t know where else I could have dressed up in a crayon costume, met hundreds of new people, learned new people skills, made a music video, made a difference in the community and had the time of my life.
Thank you Crayons to Calculators for changing the way I see the world and myself. Thank you for teaching me to be a generous, kind and hard-working person. You will always be a part of who I am.
The music video we made when the project was finished.
It is time to say goodbye. The turning of this page saddens me. For it is not just the saying goodbye to you and your adventures on the page and screen. It is not just saying goodbye to the anticipation of a new interpretation of you and your story. It is not just saying goodbye to not knowing how you will present yourself to me next. This is a goodbye to my childhood.
When I watched you on the big screen for the last time, I had a smile on my face, tears in my eyes and love in my heart. There were other people in the theater, kids much younger than me, and adults much older than me. But it was my peers and me I feel you were really there for. It is my generation who first read your books and fell in love with your story at the age of 5, and still hasn’t fallen out even at age 19.
It was my generation that waited with baited breath for each new installment of the literary journey that was your life. It was my generation that dressed like wizards, witches, Hogwarts students, owls, quidditch players and even snitches to show our appreciation as we waited in lines miles and hours long. It was my generation who found the beauty in a story about a boy and a wand, not to mention the world in which he so completely belonged.
As you found your place in the wizarding world, we were finding our places in this world. As you were finding out your true destiny, we were finding our true passions. As you were figuring out the complexities of friendship, love and loss, so were we.
I am so grateful you were a part of my childhood. You guided me, taught me so many things, gave me so many laughs, made me cry and cringe, but most importantly you helped me to see the magic in my life.
To the critics of my generation who say that these fans are crazy or devoted, you are correct. We are crazy, but not for just some story. We are crazy for the characters and heart that the story holds. We are devoted to this because it gave us so much in return.
And to those in my generation who were unhappy with the film adaptations not staying true to the books, it is not about putting every word from J.K. Rowling’s pen onto the screen. The movies are about reuniting with our favorite characters, our favorite world, our favorite boy with a hero complex, our favorite red headed sidekick with a wicked sense of humor, and our favorite brilliant and beautiful best friend. The movies are about seeing those things in a new way with all the joy the story can give us.
Thank you, Harry, for showing me what a truly magical experience is. I lived it in every way. And thank you for giving me one last piece of wisdom before you left us. Dumbledore said to Harry in the heavenly King’s Cross Station, “Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic.”
And so they have been. Words, Harry, gave me you and your friends. They gave me something to fall into and love with all my heart, they gave me a wonderful childhood.
And so as your mother said to you when you asked if she would stay with you, I know that your will be with me in my heart.
With Oprah off the air now I feel like I need to make a list of my favorite things to fill her void. But that list would be far too long, so I’ve narrowed it to be my favorite things about summer.
1. The Colorado weather. Everyone told me when I left for Boston that I was leaving the best weather in the world. And they were right. Absolutely nothing beats a Colorado summer.
Our heat can be blistering, true, but we never reach the temps the deserts do. And the best part is no humidity. My friends from the East Coast who have never ventured West do not understand the concept of dry heat, but let me tell you, if you grow up in dry heat, you can’t even bare the idea of the humid air that occupies pretty much every other state in the country. I love how the close sun can warm my skin in an instant of stepping outside. I love the breezes that fall from the mountains through my car windows. I love the daily 30-minute thunderstorms. I love Colorado summers.
2. Summer Movies. When school lets out and boredom sets in, we all run to the movies for our escape from the weather and our otherwise uneventful summer activities. I love the movies, no matter what time of year it is, but I really love the movies in the summer. It is Hollywood’s time to impress all the people buying overpriced tickets, so they pull out all the stops to make it worth spending $10.50 to be entertained for two hours. My two favorite movies so far this summer are “Bridesmaids” and “Pirates of the Caribbean 4.”
“Bridesmaids” is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. Aside from the fact that Kristen Wiig, the star and co-writer, is my hero, the movie proves that women really can do anything, even make a man laugh. “Bridesmaids” is rolling in raunchy comedy, is packed to the brim with brilliant performances, has a real “girl power” message, and deep down illuminates how truly ridiculous friendships between women can be.
Now I was not a fan of the last two “Pirates” movies, and unlike the next girl, I’m not daydreaming about Johnny Depp. I think he is just plain strange. But this fourth installment in the action-fantasy movies actually caught my attention. The story line was interesting. Johnny Depp’s infamous Jack Sparrow had some pretty funny lines, and I was intrigued. I liked following the frolicking tale through the sea and rainforest.
The two movies I’m looking forward to the most are “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 2” and “The Help.” Both are based on books I have read and respect, so I’m hoping their movie counterparts will not disappoint.
3. Terrible TV. With the season of season finales, I tend to get a little depressed. My favorite shows take a vacation, but I don’t. Therefore, I am forced to watch terrible reality TV and a few awards shows here and there.
My summer favorites include, “Next Food Network Star” and the up-and-coming “Glee Project.” Both are competition reality shows that will choose new people to be on TV, one for their own cooking show and one to have a reoccurring guest role on the TV sensation, “Glee.”
4. Summer Reading. Now summer reading is something I used to dread, especially when I’m forced to re-read a book I read in sixth grade. But finally I have the summer to read whatever I choose. So I have chosen quite the selection. I am reading all of Chelsea Handler’s irreverent comedy books, which I have to say, I really have enjoyed. I am reading Jodi Picoult’s newest installment. I want to read Tina Fey’s brilliance in print, “Bossypants.” And I am most looking forward to reuniting with my favorite four best friends from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in a new book that catches up with them ten years after the last book ended. I can read for hours on end in the summer without feeling like I’ve wasted any of my time.
I guess you could say, looking back at my list, that all I’m really trying to do is fill my days with things to do. In a way that is true, but more importantly I’m trying to enjoy my summer. Just because the things I’m looking forward to the most come in print or on the screen doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to staying up late, eating ice cream, wearing my flip-flops and swimming in my pool. Summer was invented so the human race, or probably just Americans, can enjoy themselves, the glorious weather and summer foods, so if that means I have to find time for a few movies, some terrible TV shows and books that will never be considered classics, then so be it.
Yesterday I attended my high school’s graduation. I celebrated with the Class of 2011. I watched them cross the stage and walk in to the famous “Pomp and Circumstance.” I envied them a bit, but more than anything I reminisced about my own graduation that happened exactly one year ago.
What would I have liked to know on that celebratory day? What do I know now that I can share with the seniors who are embarking on the journey of a new beginning?
1.Cherish these moments
Right now everyone is celebrating your accomplishments. Everyone around you is proud of you because of what you’ve become. You have the world in front of you. Don’t forget that feeling, because in a few short months, that feeling might overwhelm you. It’s exciting for sure, but overwhelming nonetheless. Right now, you have some of the best friendships you will ever have. New friends will come along and you will expand your relationships. But in this moment, these are the people who spent four years of continuous days with you. They know you better than anyone. Soon that won’t be true because you will change and so will they.
This summer will be great. But this is the last summer where you won’t miss someone. Once you go to college, you miss your friends from home, and when you come home, you miss your friends from college. So enjoy the bliss of not missing someone.
2.Be frightened, but be brave
It’s ok to feel scared about what the future has to bring. The unknown of roommates, dining halls, community bathrooms, college academia, a new place and a newfound independence can certainly be anxiety-producing thoughts. Going to college was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. But knowing it was ok to feel that way helped me to stay afloat. The fact that millions of people go to college and not just survive, but thrive is also encouraging. If I know someone before me has done this and been just fine, I feel I can do it too.
So be frightened, because that is completely normal. But be brave. Face this new change head on with the courage to succeed and create your own future.
3.Always be yourself
Going to a new place and meeting several new people is not easy. But it will be even harder if you don’t go as yourself. Don’t be ashamed of who you are or where you come from. Those are the things that make you interesting. And if someone doesn’t like you for a special quirk you have, then who cares. One lesson I wish I had known was you don’t have to be everyone’s friend. Everyone goes to college expecting to be best friends with everyone in their hall or in their classes. But this isn’t high school. (And I doubt anyone was friends with everyone in high school either). You don’t have to be anyone but yourself, and if that self isn’t friends with the girl in the room next to you or the boy who always sits in the common room, then so be it.
So to the seniors of 2011, welcome to your new beginning. The parties will come and go. The summer nights will blend into wonderful memories. Your friends will never leave your heart. And always remember what high school gave you. The future is uncertain and scary, but anything that comes easy usually isn’t worth it. Good luck in everything you do. Take it from a girl who has been there, a little luck doesn’t hurt a thing.
It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from Holy Family with the whole world right in front of me, and the rest of my life ahead of me. But here I am, one year done with college.
I feel like just yesterday I was writing my first blog entry about anticipating everything before me. And now I’m sitting in my room just as it was in August, but a new person with my first year of college behind me.
In a way, I feel like I am the same girl who left Colorado and high school behind. But I know that isn’t true. I changed this year. I’m still an impatient, strong-minded, honest, control freak red head who would do anything for her friends. But I grew in so many ways.
When I got to Northeastern, I was scared and ready for the year to come. And now said and done, the year was a learning experience.
I learned how to live among a group of people. I learned to live with a roommate, how to share the laundry room and how to hold my tongue even when I couldn’t sleep and the kids in the common room were screaming. I learned that I don’t ever want to live in a dorm again, but I’m glad I got the experience.
I had to relearn how to make friends and get to know people. I had to relearn how to share my life with my friends, and how to love someone not despite but because of their flaws.
I learned how to cope with frustration. The most important lesson I learned from frustration was how to let go and forgive. In October, when high school was unnecessarily haunting me, I didn’t know what to do. The old me would have freaked out at the people causing me pain. Instead I freaked out to the people I knew would catch me as I was falling. A few weeks into the silly issue, I completely let go of the anger I was feeling and forgave the people causing me the pain I wanted so badly to go away. Forgiveness, I learned, is the best medicine.
The whole ordeal in October, taught me how to handle a crisis as an adult. It helped me to grow as a person. And most importantly I learned a lesson I’ve been trying to perfect my whole life, how to let go. Now looking back on the whole thing, I smile and roll my eyes, but I’m also thankful for what I came out with.
This year allowed me to find myself in a completely new environment. My solid and consistent background gave me a good sense of who I was, so being put into a new situation caused me to lose myself a little bit. I’m not 100 percent sure I found myself again, but college is for finding a new self identity, so I’ll get there, I’m just giving myself the time I need.
As I packed up my shoebox of a dorm room and rolled my suitcases out, I got that “after” feeling. I was feeling sentimental about my time in Smith Hall at Northeastern. As much as I didn’t like my room, or my hall, or even being a freshman, it was still a part of who I was. It will always be a part of me.
So what will the summer and sophomore year bring? Who knows? But all I can say is, “Bring it on.”
“Friends are people who know you, but like you anyway.” In the second part of my reflection series, I want to examine the social aspect of my college experience.
In my first year, I had to make new friends for the first time in my life. And I am not kidding. I went to the same school as my two best friends for 13 years, so I never really had to forge out into the friendship seas by myself. I always had them to help me meet people and learn to love new people.
When I moved across the country without either of them, I was frightened and exhilarated. I got to be anyone I wanted without my friends there exposing all my secrets. I got to be a new friend who people discovered for themselves.
My first friend was my roommate, Niki. We drifted apart, but I certainly owe a lot to her. Without her, I would be eating meals by myself. She helped me to make friends with others and break out of my introvert shell.
One of my first memories of Niki is from the first night we moved in. We talked about the basics of our lives and showed each other pictures of those we loved back home. I was discovering a new person. I will always cherish that memory as the scariest and most thrilling night of the beginning of this journey.
Thinking about how I met my now best friends is like watching the beginning of a very familiar movie. Beginnings aren’t always exciting, but they are important. And I’ve learned that fate has an interesting effect on those beginnings we so often overlook.
In the first hall meeting, a sheet went around for us to put our names, our birthdays and our favorite candies on. I was one of the last people to get the sheet. As I scanned all the names and candies, I thought, “My future best friend could be in this very room.” Then one name caught my attention. Chelsea’s name was written in big loopy handwriting and her favorite candy was gummy bears, just like mine. I knew I had to meet her, and what do you know, I did. She is now one of my best friends.
My neighbor and future roommate, Kait, joined us shortly later to make an incredible friendship. Together we laugh, get mad and do all the things friends should do.
Along with Kait, Chelsea and Chelsea’s roommate, Laura, and her two friends, Jamie and Eugenia, we formed a good group of friends.
This past weekend I went to Chelsea’s with Kait. The three of us looked forward to meeting and seeing everything about Chelsea’s life that makes her who she is. One of her friends was surprised we knew so much about her life. But that’s what friends are. They know everything about you, and like you anyway.
We have also found it easier to talk freely about things in our lives. I told Chelsea and Kait that because my friends from home come from nearly identical backgrounds as me and I grew up with them, I never get to hear their life stories in their own words. I love hearing stories about Chelsea’s and Kait’s families, friends and memories from life because that is my way of learning about who they are.
The friends I made helped me to have a great first year. They taught me a lot about myself, but more importantly they shared their lives with me, and I am so grateful.
