It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from Holy Family with the whole world right in front of me, and the rest of my life ahead of me. But here I am, one year done with college.
I feel like just yesterday I was writing my first blog entry about anticipating everything before me. And now I’m sitting in my room just as it was in August, but a new person with my first year of college behind me.
In a way, I feel like I am the same girl who left Colorado and high school behind. But I know that isn’t true. I changed this year. I’m still an impatient, strong-minded, honest, control freak red head who would do anything for her friends. But I grew in so many ways.
When I got to Northeastern, I was scared and ready for the year to come. And now said and done, the year was a learning experience.
I learned how to live among a group of people. I learned to live with a roommate, how to share the laundry room and how to hold my tongue even when I couldn’t sleep and the kids in the common room were screaming. I learned that I don’t ever want to live in a dorm again, but I’m glad I got the experience.
I had to relearn how to make friends and get to know people. I had to relearn how to share my life with my friends, and how to love someone not despite but because of their flaws.
I learned how to cope with frustration. The most important lesson I learned from frustration was how to let go and forgive. In October, when high school was unnecessarily haunting me, I didn’t know what to do. The old me would have freaked out at the people causing me pain. Instead I freaked out to the people I knew would catch me as I was falling. A few weeks into the silly issue, I completely let go of the anger I was feeling and forgave the people causing me the pain I wanted so badly to go away. Forgiveness, I learned, is the best medicine.
The whole ordeal in October, taught me how to handle a crisis as an adult. It helped me to grow as a person. And most importantly I learned a lesson I’ve been trying to perfect my whole life, how to let go. Now looking back on the whole thing, I smile and roll my eyes, but I’m also thankful for what I came out with.
This year allowed me to find myself in a completely new environment. My solid and consistent background gave me a good sense of who I was, so being put into a new situation caused me to lose myself a little bit. I’m not 100 percent sure I found myself again, but college is for finding a new self identity, so I’ll get there, I’m just giving myself the time I need.
As I packed up my shoebox of a dorm room and rolled my suitcases out, I got that “after” feeling. I was feeling sentimental about my time in Smith Hall at Northeastern. As much as I didn’t like my room, or my hall, or even being a freshman, it was still a part of who I was. It will always be a part of me.
So what will the summer and sophomore year bring? Who knows? But all I can say is, “Bring it on.”
Loving the pic :)
ReplyDelete