Not the end, but a new beginning

On January 1, 2012, I felt like I was looking into a deep crevasse at the top of the cliff knowing I would have to scale the wall and make it to the bottom.

Six months, 40 hours a week, winter, spring and a little bit of summer. Stories, odd jobs and a learning experience lay ahead of me like that giant crevasse. It was intimidating and scary, but not impossible.

Now that I am at the bottom of the cliff, it doesn’t look so big. In fact, six months seems insignificant. A blip in the radar. A very small amount of time in the span of a lifetime.

But I am proud of what I accomplished in the past six months. I embarked on a journey of trying something completely new. My first week of work I read a line in a book I was reading that resonated with the things I was going through.

“Just because you haven’t done something, doesn’t mean you can’t.” Just because I’d never worked 40 hours a week at a big newspaper with so many bosses and responsibilities didn’t mean I couldn’t do it.

Living up to the expectations others have for your success is the best motivator. I proved to myself that taking risks and leaping off the cliff with fear and faith is really the best thing I could ever do.

I wasn’t sure how to approach my co-op at Boston Globe South except with a positive attitude and an appetite for learning. What I got in return because of that outlook was so much more.

In the beginning, I approached each day as a stepping-stone to the big things that would come next. It worked. I was prepared and the perfect amount of overwhelmed at every new project thrown my way.

I worked my ass off. I performed every assignment to my best ability. I guess it was the overachiever in me that wanted to go above and beyond what was asked of me. I felt a need to prove that hiring a shy, somewhat inexperienced, red head from Colorado was not a mistake.

I wanted to prove that I was here to learn and do the very best job that I could. I think my bosses were pleased with how I took the job and made it my own by taking on extra projects and always helping out.

It was bittersweet to leave. I will miss the people I worked with and learning something new everyday (and making money). But I am grateful to be a college student again with papers and homework on the mind. But mostly I like having my free time back to myself.

I haven’t fully transitioned back to class. I can only take about five minutes of homework at a time before I want to tear my hair out, but I will get there.

Looking up at that cliff, I see the old me: a girl scared of her own shadow and achievements. At the bottom I see a girl poised at a new starting line with a newfound confidence and assuredness in herself. I see challenges ahead of me, but I also see all the challenges I happily hurdled along that cliff wall.

If I can do that, I can do anything. (I think.)