They say the Irish have all the luck, but lately I haven’t been feeling so lucky. Sometimes life just serves us the worst of things, and we are left thinking, “Really, what did I do to deserve this?” But my recent bad luck has also left me with new perspectives.
Don’t get me wrong. I know that everyone has a hard time sometimes. Life gets tough and very hard to bear at times. But the reassuring thing to remember is that the bad times won’t last forever.
It is known that you will lose yourself at some point in your college career. Did I expect it to happen? Absolutely. Did I expect it to happen so soon? Not exactly.
A few events in the past week have left me feeling not like myself. I wake up and wonder “Whose life I am living?” because it certainly does not feel like mine. I am not the girl who gets bullied or forgotten. I am not an unmemorable person so affected by other’s opinions.
One thing I always loved about myself was that I never thought I cared what others thought of me. But I’m realizing that sometimes what other’s think of you does matter. The specific opinions do not matter to me. Hate me or love me, I’ll always be me. But when people express those opinions, I tend to loose it.
I want to thank everyone near, far and in my heart who have been there for me the past few days, especially my roommate, Niki, my friends, Abbie, Chelsea, Becca, Ellie, Taylor, Seth, Jenna and Katie. And a special thanks goes to my mother who is there no matter what I did or what time of night it is. I owe my life to these people.
But enough about my sob story. I need to remember something very important, a quote I live by, even if Marilyn Monroe said it (although she is a natural red head). “Sometimes things fall apart, so better things can fall together.”
I have to trust that God has a plan, that this won’t last forever, that things will get better, and I will land on my feet.
I am beginning to see what a turbulent journey college will be. Although, part of me wishes high school wasn’t getting involved. Life is a process and a rite of passage. It wouldn’t be any fun if it was easy, now would it?
I am learning by experience that I cannot control everything in my world. Sometimes my world is going to get turned upside down. I just have to deal with it in a mature and professional way, no matter how angry or hurt I am. I hope I’ve done that. If I keep my sights on the future and keep grounded in all the good things about my life, I know I will make it through.
“Someday I will be a successful and happy journalist. Today, I am a student at an amazing university in a vibrant city. And I will always have the love that surrounds me.” This will be my mantra.
I might have current bad luck, but the thing about luck is that it’s always changing.
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